Awake My Soul

I know I have not written a new blog post in a while. I actually have a few things I would like to write about and post, I just have not found the time yet. Hopefully soon, but for now, I will leave you with a quote from one of my favorite books. I pray that anyone who reads this will meditate on the idea that Kauflin is trying to express, and examine their own personal time with the Lord.

"Gettting to know God is time-consuming. We live in the age of instant everything. We want a life-changing devotional in fifteen minutes max. And why shouldn't God fit into the slot we've allotted him? After all, he's God; he knows how packed our schedule is! We open our Bibles and get bored if nothing grips us after two paragraphs. We want everything abridged, dumbed down, and in today's lingo, so we don't have to think too much or examine our lives too closely.

"Those attitudes are unacceptable if we want to display the glories of God through song each Sunday. Given our small minds, our absolute dependence on revealed truth, and the immensity of God, how can we think there's an easy path to knowing the God we worship?

"There are no shortcuts. Only a grace-motivated, steadfast, lifelong pursuit of the God who created and redeemed us for his glory."

Worship Matters Bob Kauflin 2008

We are all a part of the iGeneration. The i has two meanings: 1. individual, meaning everything is about me and how it effects me alone. 2. instant, how fast can I obtain what I am seeking for myself. This way of thinking has deeply affected me with my spiritual life. I do have a need for instantaneous revelation and gratification from the Lord. But God, the eternal, unchanging being, is not a part of the iGeneration and he expects so much more from me as his child.

Awake My Soul

Mumford & Sons

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As Long As You Are Glorified

As my time at Bryan has now been drawn to an end, I look back and see how I've grown through the past four years. I entered as an opinionated, immature, independent young girl ready to take on a new world. With this definition it does not sound like much has change, huh? Yes, I’m still opinionated, immature, independent and young. Now my opinions are more educated, based in truth and the godly wisdom of my professors. My immaturity is more visible to myself as I seek to develop in the Lord. My independence is stronger, yet with an understanding that it is not always a bad thing to rely on someone for help and I also understand my weaknesses more to know when to seek help. My youngness fades every day, reminding me that though I’m still in my early years, I only have one life to live for Christ.

I entered Bryan with the goal of being a music producer. I wanted to spend the rest of my life creating music for the world. Spending late hours in a studio, recording music, editing it, polishing the sound, perfecting the outcome, it was all a part of my dream for years. The last thing I ever wanted to do was enter a full-time Christian ministry. I refused to be a music education major because the thought of being in school for the rest of my life was less than thrilling. Knowing I’d eventually have to get my masters if I wanted to continue teaching was overwhelming. I had no desire to be a part of school post my undergraduate career, whether sitting at a desk taking notes or standing in front lecturing.

Now, I have a degree in Music Ministry. Ministry! The last thing I wanted. Now, I’m pursuing a degree at seminary. A MASTERS! More school! Now, I want to work as a Minister of Music in a church. I hope to one day be a college professor, training other hopeful Ministers of Music. TEACHING! I want to dedicate my life to helping the church of the Lord understand how to worship Him wholly, what HE wants from us as worshippers. Francis Schaeffer would be so proud if he knew how much his book inspired me. It’s crazy how far I’ve come in just four years.

As I look ahead to the next two(ish) years at Southern Seminary, I am so excited to begin imagining how God is going to shape me there. I will have the benefit of studying under some of the top professors in their field (not that I didn’t have that at Bryan. Thank you Dr. Luther and Dr. Wilhoit). I will be studying along side people who, like me, are fresh out of their undergrad, ready to grow some more. I’ll also be along side those who have spent years of their life in the ministry already and have come to earn the degree that their experience well deserves. I’ll be along side people who are preparing a life of service to Christ. This learning experience is going to be at such a higher caliber from Bryan, the growth the Lord has in store has to be just as great. I hope I’m ready!

Oh, Let Your will be done in me

In Your love I will abide

Oh, I long for nothing else as long

As You are glorified

As Long As You Are Glorified

Sovereign Grace Music

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7 Days!

One week until graduation!!!

I'm DONE with my undergraduate homework! I just have my final left for my online class. YAY!

We left for Senior trip today. Charleston is a blast. I definitely hope to live here for an extended amount of time one day.

Today's reflection is on the music groups I was involved in over the years.

Chorale in Switzerland. Europe Tour 2010

Chorale has been my biggest music involvement over the past four years at Bryan. In all 8 semesters, there was only 1 when I wasn't a member of this group. I have been all over the US with them touring, and toured Europe with them as well. Four tours with this group made for some great adventures!

I'll admit it, I did not always enjoy being a part of this group. I really struggled to fully enjoy my time with them. I don't socialize well in big groups, so I often was frustrated in varying situations. What made it all worth it was the people I did come close to. Some of my best friends sang along side me in this choir.

Singing, oh the singing. I never knew how much I loved singing until I joined this group. No matter how much I was struggled socially within the group, performing with them was the best thing in the world to me. I loved the songs we would sing each tour, I loved the blends we made as we performed together. It was all just amazing and that it what I will miss most about this group.

Bryan College Chamber's Singers

This year I finally decided to try out for Chamber Singer's. It is a smaller group, and they travel on weekends. I was not sure if I could even get in the group, and I was not sure I wanted to be in the group. Traveling on weekends was not that appealing to me and the social issues I had with Chorale made me fearful of putting myself in more situations like it. But, I just wanted to know if I was even good enough, so I auditioned. And I got in! I was nervous about it at first, and not very excited. I'm so glad I stuck it out. I made some close friends in this group. My chamber buddy, Randy, stood next to me in our concerts. If I had not joined this group I doubt I would have come to realize his awesomeness! It was great to have an excuse to spend more time with my dear friends Anna, Caitlin and Alexis. Also, I was able to get to know Kristen Underwood a lot better. I'm glad Dr. D placed me in this group this year. I think it was a great growing experience for me as a musician, person and Christian.

Freshman year I sang in the Women's Chorus. This was such a blast! It's like girl time on steroids. We had so much fun as a group. I loved all these girls so much. Mrs. Keck was our director and she is so funny. In this group I was really able to be myself. This choir is what really shaped me as a singer and prepared me to be involved more with Chorale and join Chambers.

Time to sleep. Tomorrow is "be lazy on the beach all day" day. I LOVE being a Senior! :-)

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8 Days

8 Days to graduation!

Today: I attended my last Bryan College chapel. I turned in my last undergrad paper. I attended my last music concert.

School left:

2 online lessons

my online final (which I take next Friday)

I'm trying to finish up all my online class work before I leave for Senior trip in the morning, so this post will be short.

Huston 2nd: L-R Lauren, EB, Erin, Allison, Melissa, Me

At the All Campus Picnic Freshman year

My first semester freshman year I lived on Huston 2nd. This hall was so tight that year. 2nd is a short hall, so counting the RA there was 12 of us total (I didn't have a roommate so it should have been 13... I guess she was the unlucky number ;-) ).

EB and Erin lived on this hall, but they already got a blog post. :-)

The first friend I had on this hall was Allison. She and I connected on facebook and were so excited when we found out we'd be living across the hall from each other. She made freshman year an adventure. We were typical freshman together, but you know what... it was totally worth it. Freshman year is the only time you can get away with it, so why not go all out ;-)

Lauren was the next friend I made. For the first few weeks we did absolutely everything together. My first memory of Lauren was the 2nd day we were there, I realized I left my straightener at the hotel, so I went to ask if I could borrow hers. Later that day I saw a note on my board saying something along the lines of "Dear Charlee, I am frizzy and would really like to be straightened. Can you return Lauren's straightener? -Lauren's hair" Yes, she's crazy hysterical like this and I love it. Well, she just had to go and meet the love of her life (hehe, they're getting married this summer! The only freshman couple to survive all 4 years!) and I got all wrapped up in work and music. What's awesome though is that this last semester Lauren and I have been able to reconnect and it's been so much fun to see how much she's grown these past four years, but still remain the same awesome Lauren that I enjoyed so much freshman year.

Spring Banquet 2008

Back Row L-R: Jandi, Me, Tara, Erin, EB, Allison, Lauren

Front row L-R: Nicole, Tori, Cassie Marie

Other girls on the hall have come and gone. Melissa and Tara left after sophomore year. Tori graduated early. Tara and Tori are married. Cassi Marie graduated our junior year and got married. Steph and Lauren are engaged. Jandi is Senior class President, studied a semester in Ecuador, and is pretty much the most awesome person ever (she actually moved on the hall the semester I moved off). All in all though, we've managed to survive together. We'll always have freshman year! :-)

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9 Days

9 Days left to graduation!

Today: I finished work. I'm done editing chapels, radio programs and so on. WOOHOO!

I had my last Charlee'/Garrett date. Man I'm going to miss those! I had to fight back crying the whole way home from Hixson :-( ... but more on Garrett for another day.

Today I also finished my Bryan college classes. Of all the classes at Bryan, there is one class/group on campus that is a large part of my learning experience. Known as Mel's Angels

Mel's Angels at a tea house in Chattanooga. Beginning of Fall semester Junior year.

Back Row L-R: Dr. Luther, Natalie, Glenna, Johanna

Front L-R: Me, Tori, Elise

The girls in this group have been through a lot together academically. We are the sole survivors of 4 semesters of theory for our graduating class. The fact that we were all girls helped us in getting extra special treatment from Dr. Mel Wilhoit. Hence the name ;-)

Dr. Luther, the theory goddess, is our fearless leader. For 2 years we had her for theory every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. She is such a lady of grace. What I LOVE about her is she is such a strong woman. She is so smart and is revered by all her peers. She could easily be stuck-up, proud and arrogant. No one would blame her for being this way! Instead, she is the kind and understanding. She shines her wisdom to all with such humility. I have had the honor of being trained by her as a pianist. This is so crazy to me because she is one of the top pianist in America... and she was MY teacher! Whoa! I hope to grow up to be just like her... even if I know that will never happen, it's still a goal to strive after.

Johanna... oh Johanna, where do I even begin. First of all, thank you for being my most faithful follower! Yes, when I check my stats, I see that a follower from Jordan keeps checking my blog (despite the fact that I have been awful at posting lately!) and it makes me so happy to know you're still 'with me'. Ok... here we go.

Johanna is my study buddy. I probably would have failed all four semesters of Music History without her. We prepared for all but one listening test together. Goodness, we had a BLAST doing it (sometimes). Johanna and I just click when we're together. We are both so sarcastic and whitty (something most people don't realize about Johanna, she is such a sas! It's the quiet sweet one's you have to look out for.) We even got the same exact score on our ETS. Yes, we're pretty much the same person.

Now that Johanna is graduated and off in Jordan, I have one huge regret. I did not spend near enough time with her. I think it is good that I developed a lot of close non-music friends, but I wish I had worked more on my friendship with Johanna. Why did we never go get coffee together? Or make a sonic run? I don't know. All I know is I miss her and I love her dearly. She and I share so much in common. It almost made it hard to study because we distract each other and get off on random conversations like no one's business. Studying with her at 2 in the morning was easy because I loved spending time with her. Yes, we were both tired and bitter at Dr. Wilhoit for giving us too many songs to study... but we still found ways to have fun. (I'm trying not to cry here girl!!) I'm so thankful for the times we had together and I hope when she gets back to the US we can have some more good times again.

The Angels out at Pocket with Dr. Wilhoit for 'sight singing' class. Spring Semester Sophomore Year.

Natalie was the other pianist out of our group so Johanna, Nats and I had that bond together. Granted, Nats is way out of our league as a pianist. She is SO amazing! I love listening to her play. Nats has the characteristic like Dr. Luther in the fact that she could be very stuck up. She is so talented and smart that it would be easy for her to put herself above everyone else. Yet, she is the sweetest girl you'll ever meet. Nats is also hysterical... and unintentional about it sometimes. She makes anyone smile no matter how the day is going.

Tori and Elise are my fellow Music Ministry girls. Tori was my roommate (along with Hailey) sophomore year. It was good to have a music major in the room. We had almost all our classes together that year, so we'd work together on our homework. It was so helpful! She can be kind of clueless sometimes, but don't let that fool you. This girl is SMART! She is in the top 25% of students in the school, and that's with all the Wilhoit classes we Music Ministry majors had to take. You go girl! Elise and I gave our recital together so we have that connection. It was a stressful time for both of us, BUT WE SURVIVED!!!

Glenna is one of a kind. Not only is she a Music Ed major (which is a ridiculously hard major!) but she's also honors. So in all the classes we had together she would be doing extra work from the rest of the class in order to get honors credit. I couldn't imagine taking the class load she takes (normally at least 20 hours... whoa!), plus the honors work, plus practice time... it's crazy. She is a tender heart and I really appreciate that about her. I think she is going to be a great teacher one day!

Schoolwork left:

2 online lessons

2 finals

9 pages of my 10 page paper

If you're wondering why this barely changed from yesterday... we had a power outage last night. Not much was accomplished. Trying to finish one final now, and then my 10 page paper.

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10 Days

10 Days to graduation.

Today: I worked my last chapel. I attended my last Repetoire (praise the Lord!).
Tonight was supposed to be my last night with my church. My last time leading worship with the youth. My goodbye night. Due to terrible weather conditions, church was cancelled. I'm so bummed about this.

I have been in the praise band since my Sophomore year. And my Junior year I became the praise band leader. We've been through some rough times, keeping the band going hasn't always been easy. I'm not going to lie, there were times I wanted to quit. One night I actually went to church with the intention of quitting because of my busy schedule. But PowerHouse has been my haven the past three years. I go in discouraged and tired, stressed and overwhelmed; I leave refreshed.

God has really blessed me through this ministry. Working with this group is how I discovered my love for teaching musicians how to work together. I was learning right along side of them, but I loved stepping back, listening and then helping the band work its way into a better sound. So basically, because of what I learned about myself through working with this band, I came to realize what I want to do with my life and decided to go to seminary. The Lord taught me a lot by working with them

Preston playing ping-pong in the youth suite.

Preston is probably one of my favorite guys in the youth group. He has such a heart for the Lord and people. He's the bands beat boxer. Yes, that's right. We lost our drummer a few months ago and Preston stepped right in, beat boxing for us. It sounds awesome. I love it because we have a unique band, he loves it because he always wanted to be in the band but thought he couldn't. God can use anyone's talents!

Danielle and I at Nerf War this past summer. We beasted it!

Danielle is our guitar player and singer. She is budding musician. she writes songs as well. God is going to really use her one day. When I look at Danielle, I'm reminded of myself at her age. She has such a love for music, it's great. I have really enjoyed working with her and being a part of her growing as a musician.

Hannah, Madeline and Me at Winter Xtreme 10-11

These two girls I've grown close to the past 10 months. Hannah and Madeline are 2 of our 7th graders. When we have an activity, they are there for sure. Its great to have kids you know you can depend on to be involved. Yes, they are typical 7th graders, they have a lot of growing up to do. But I love them. I'm going to miss not watching them grow up through their teen years. I hope to come back one day to see great women of God.

My girls who had the ghetto room with me at Winter Xtreme 10-11. Crazy times!

Yee Won!! At Winter Xtreme 10-11

Yee Won is a so great! She is funny, loveable, encouraging and such a Godly girl! She sings with us in the praiseband. I respect her so much. I can't wait to see how many ways God will use her in her life. I'm going to miss her encouraging spirit and optimistic attitude. She always lifts my spirits when I need it.

The girls at Ignite 2010. This is right before we went on our TPing adventure!

Not pictured is my dear friend, Courtney. She was the first person to befriend me from the youth group. It's been great to have her as a friend the past 2 1/2 years. This summer when I stayed in Dayton, it was great to have a friend that I could just call and meet at Ayalas, or invite over to just chill at my house.

Jason and Kammy at Winter Xtreme 10-11. Our fearless leaders!

Jason and Kammy came to our youth group January 2010. It's been awesome to get to know them the past year and a half. Jason is a great youth pastor and perfect for our changing youth group. We've undergone a lot of craziness in the past, and Jason is helping to bring the whole youth group back in focus.

Kammy has become one of my dearest friends. We try to go out for coffee or lunch once a week to just catch up and get away from life. She's a full-time mom of three and I really respect her for how well she handles her kids and being a youth pastors wife. I thank the Lord that he sent her into my life to have a godly friend and example to follow.

And now... Farewell! It is going to be hard to adjust to not being a part of this awesome group. I've cherished having such strong connections with people off the hill. I'll miss you all!

School left:

2 lessons for my online class

1 class (yep, not going to Lit)

A 10 page paper

2 Finals

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11 Days

11 days to graduation!! The countdown has begun. I decided to spend the next 11 days counting down and reflecting on my Bryan College life and fun times. I'm doing simplified version on facebook, but on here I'll go more in detail with everything. As I am going through my "lasts" of everything, it's going to be a bitter-sweet week. I know I'll enjoy it though... but it all hasn't really sunk in that I won't be back here next year.

Today: Today was my last 'beginning of the school week'. Also, unless someone sends something, I picked up my last package in the mailroom (ok, I'm milking the lasts here!). Today I had my last Chambers get-together. We had a dinner tonight.

School work left:

3 lessons for my online class.

1 paper (10 pages) for Sexuality and the Bible.

2 more classes (probably only one more, I'll probably skip intro to lit since the final is take-home due that day and I still have a skip left)

2 Finals (intro to lit take home and Science which will be a last minute final the day before graduation)

Today's memory reflection.

Erin and EB! My E²!

A day in the grassy bowl our first semester.

Freshman year the three of us were inseparable. We all lived on Huston 2nd. Since I was roommateless you would usually find me in there room any time of the day. These two girls were my lifesavers through freshman year. We were total freshmen together, and I loved every minute of it!

Star gazing end of our first semester

To this day we still remain friends. Though not as close as freshman year, I still cherish their friendship deeply. EB and I will be rooming together for Senior Trip and I can't wait. Unfortunately, Erin will not be joining us (sad day!) because she is going to Spain this summer and wants time with her family, so that's understandable.

Spring Banquet our Freshman year. Yes, EB and I dyed our hair PINK for this. We went as Punk Rock Princess. Total impulse moment. I love how I could always convince her to join me in impulse moments like this. :-)

EB and I Sophomore year at the dessert theater (Lost in Yonkers I think was that year?)

Even though we moved into different dorms and developed separate friends, EB and I still found times like this to remind ourselves how awesome we are together. I wouldn't be the same person without her friendship. She's one friend that I know no matter how much time we spend apart, we can always pick right back up where we left off. I love this about her! I love who I am when I'm with her. Love you EB!

Attempting to cut chicken in the Huston Kitchen Fall Freshman year.

I'm pretty sure this is both Erin's and my favorite memory ever! Freshman year we had a Western Civ project together, and me being the campus cook, was naturally chosen to cook the main course for our Renaissance meal. I asked for boneless chicken breasts... the girls in charge of shopping bought us two whole chickens... Cutting the chicken was an interesting experience. Times like this with Erin are always fun. We are both so different, yet our times together are hilarious. Erin is fun loving and enjoys life. She was a big part of my fun and relaxing moments. You should see this girl when she is sleep deprived. Oh buddy!

I love my E²!

(yes, a post without a music title. What is the world coming to?)

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Song for a Friend

In Intro to Lit we had an assignment to research a poetic form and then write a poem in that form. I'm not saying the following poem is good by any means... I'm aware it is 6th grade level... but it sums up my emotions about the relationships in my life. Basically this semester I have struggled a lot with fading friendships. I've seen a lot come and go over the past four years, but now I'm okay with that because I see the purpose in it all. Not all people are meant to be in my life forever, and that's a good thing. This poem might sound sad, but it's really not. Its reflecting on good times with friends, and then growing into new seasons and new friendships.
This is in Villanelle style, which is restricted to only 2 rhyme schemes and the first and last lines of the first stanza are to alternate being the final line of the following stanzas. This is to emphasize the poetic theme... because of the rhyme restrictions and line restrictions, it was really difficult to express my thoughts clearly. I have so much more respect for poets now in how beautifully they can write under such restrictions. I chose not to use a specific meter... thankfully for this form it isn't required. phew!

Friendships

How friendships change throughout the years

They come and go with seasons

The memories fade away with tears

“Together forever” we said without fears

We grew as our love deepens

How friendships change throughout the years

Time waxes on and it appears

The bond between us weakens

The memories fade away with tears

We slowly drifted into new spheres

We grew into new seasons

How friendships change throughout the years

We’re blazing on into new frontiers

Each life its own now sweetens

The memories fade away with tears

I smile as this love disappears

I now can see the reasons

How friendships change throughout the years

The memories fade away with tears

The bigger news is that I got into grad school!! I'll be attending Southern Baptist Theological Seminary this coming Fall. I'm really excited to pursue this next step in my life. I will be studying to receive a Masters of Arts in Worship Leadership. (read "Move Forward" for more info on what I want to do with this degree) Southern is one of the top seminaries, so I'm a little intimidated, but I'm really looking forward to this challenge!

Song for a Friend

Jason Mraz

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This is My Now

Today is my big Senior Recital!
Thank you to all my family who traveled great distance just to come see me play a little (9ft grand) piano. :-) I appreciate it more than you realize!
This morning I definitely woke up thinking "Hmm... if only I had taken Dr. Luther up on the opportunity to give my recital on April 6th instead... if only!" Yes, I really do wish I had more time to prepare a little bit better. I realize so many things about my music that needs improving. I would like to work on small details; even some major details need smoothing out. Hopefully it will all come together beautifully.
I'm not sure if I have any readers out there that aren't here today (other than Garrett :-( miss you!) but incase there is someone who I'm not thinking of (oh, Johanna!!! I just e-mailed you, duh! miss you too!) and you're so sad to miss my recital, check out this link. www.ustream.tv/channel/charlee-s-recital
More blogs to come post-recital, promise!


This is My Now
Jordin Sparks

(of course I would choose an American Idol finally song for my recital day ;-) )

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Move Forward

Today I FINALLY completed my application for Southern Sem!! It is looking pretty promising that I will be going there this fall. Four years ago I never would have imagined that I'd be graduating college and going on to grad school. It was the very last thing on my list to do.

For those of you wondering why I'm going to Seminary, here is the deal: This past year I have realized that I really want to develop a deeper knowledge of what Biblical worship is. What does God want from me as a worshipper and a leader? What is the role of a worship leader? What is worship even to God? Those are the kinds of questions I want to understand in a deep way. What I want to eventually do is go on to be a music and worship instructor at a college level. I'd like to guide and direct future worship leaders so they can go out and start making a difference in todays churches. So many Music Ministers are lacking in their understanding of what the purpose of musical worship really is. I'd like to be a knowledgeable Music Minister and I'd like to be a part in training and sending out more knowledgeable music ministers. So, I decided to go to Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY. I was going to wait a year, but then realized, why should I put off my life for a year if I know what I want to do? So I'm going for it. Hopefully I won't burn out of grad school!

My recital is in 9 1/2 days! Hopefully I'll be ready in time. Some of my music is ready, but a few pieces still are not performance ready. We'll see... I can't wait for my family to get here! So many people are coming, I'm excited for them to celebrate all my hard work with me. :-)

Move Forward

Bethany Dillon

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Let's Get Together

This is a month away. That is terrifying!
Time to go practice some more.

Let's Get Together
Annette Funicello and Tommy Sands

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Between the End and Where We Lie

So, I have started the final semester here at Bryan. Crazy!

It is late so I do not have much to say. I do have a good story to share about how God works, but I'll save it for another post. I just quickly wanted to share my schedule with everyone. This is to protect myself from getting hassled for never answering my phone. If you call me during any time that I have posted, then it's your fault for calling me when I can't answer. ;-)

Monday:

9-12: Work

1-3: Work

3-4: Chorale

5:30-7:30: Practice

Tuesday:

8-9:15: Sexuality and the Bible

10-12: Work

12-1: Practice

1:30-2:45: Introduction to Literature

3-4: Piano Lesson

Wednesday:

9-12: Work

1-3: Work

3-4: Chorale

4-5: Repetoire Class

5-8: Church

9-11: Practice

Thursday:

8-9:15: Sexuality and the Bible

10-12: Work

1:30-2:45: Introduction to Literature

5:30-7:30: Practice

Friday:

3: Chorale

4-6: Practice

Between the End and Where We Lie

Thrice

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Let's Talk

Last night it was late and I was tired. My room was empty. The house was silent. It was the perfect situation for me to curl up in my bed and peacefully drift into my dreams. Only, that's not what happened. Instead, I sat in my bed in the dark and started speaking to God... out loud. One would think this isn't strange. I mean, come on, as someone who attends a Christian school, works as a leader in a youth group, and grew up in the ministry I pray aloud all the time. This time was different. It is the first time I've actually spoken aloud to God when no one else was listening. Suddenly the facade was gone. It was just me and God. I even remember saying "God, this feels so awkward and I don't understand why. It shouldn't be that way. My relationship with you should be better than this." In the middle of that prayer I realized that my relationship was in a dangerous place. I had stopped actually communicating with God. My prayers were just formalities. My inward private prayers were not much different from the constant inward dialogue that runs inside my head. My outward prayers in front of others was just another performance. I experienced last night what it really means to have a real conversation with God and it was great.

Afterward I let him speak back to me and I just read scripture aloud for about an hour. I've never cried so much when I read the Bible. It was a beautiful experience.

God and I have been chatting a lot today. I'm really thankful that he has patience with a slow learner like me.

So, my question to my readers (the few and proud) is when was the last time you had a conversation with God?

Let's Talk

Tyler Kyte

This is one of my all time favorite songs. I LOVE Tyle Kyte and I wish he was an actual known artist because he deserves some attention. If Canada was going to give us just one boy pop star I'd take Tyler over Justin Bieber any day.

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Auld Lang Syne

While this commercial does not encourage me to buy a Louis Vuitton, I LOVE watching this commercial. It is inspirational, and adventurous and awesome. It's like the commercial for my life.




Now, I'll admit this video is very transcendental (see, I'm a good Bryan College student!) But then again, I admit that I am a Christian with some slight transcendental tendencies. No I'm not a crazy meditating, get in touch with the spirit world type person. But I do think that God shapes us through our experiences.

To answer the question posed at the end of the video, "Does the person create the journey or does the journey create the person?" My answer: BOTH!

So with this in mind here is my one and only New Year's Resolution (ok... so I actually have more but this is the only one I'll hold myself to keeping): No matter where life takes me post-graduation, whether I get stuck in a crummy job, move back home, live off cheese and crackers or whatever happens, I'm not going to let myself give up on my journey.

Cheesy yes... but that's probably my biggest fear in life is just settling and giving up. Getting stuck in Dayton, getting stuck at home, forgetting my dreams, these are all things I fear. So I'm not going to give up and I'm not going to get stuck. That's my resolution for the new year and for the rest of my life.

Happy 2011!! I graduate this year! HOLY COW!

Auld Lang Syne
Kenny G (this version just for Mom)

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