Things I'll Never Say

It's past 3 am and I have my last Wilhoit final ever in 7 hours. I can already tell this will be the most random and unorganized blog post by me to date.

The worst semester of my life is roughly 7 hours from being over... I am not as happy as I should be. I feel like I may have missed out on something big God was trying to teach me through this big struggle this semester and I was too busy being frustrated at Him to find out what it was. I did learn a lot in class, about myself, and about God though... maybe I did learn what He had in mind and it just is more subtle than usual.

I want to volunteer in a soup kitchen. I tell people my spiritual gift is servanthood, yet I'm practicing selfishness these days. I do nice things for those I know and love... but when was the last time I loved someone that I don't even know? Random fact: Rhea County just opened a homeless shelter last month. hmm...

God gave me the gift of music... when did my music become more important than God?

Most days I still feel like a Freshman. When will I realize that the real world is just one step away?

One of my close friends graduates in 15 hours. I wish I had spent more time with her. She is going to do an internship in Jordan from January to May. I wish I was her.

I just want to travel, serve people and pretend money doesn't exist. Is that too much to ask? I wish I wasn't a year and a half away from qualifying to be a Journeyman.

I still miss him, but yesterday I realized I am finally over it. Now I just miss the friendship. Although, without that friendship I've come to realize how many good guys there are in my life and how I failed to appreciate them all because of one guy.

I have nothing more to say, but I don't think he deserves to be the final topic of my random blog post so I'm racking my brain for what other random thoughts I have that I need to just put out there on the table.

All I can think of is how I am going to wake up in the morning and the rambling unorganized randomness of this blog post is going to bother me... I'll probably delete it. I do think this form of blogging is very freeing though.

I should dedicate my next blog to my Dad. We frustrate each other a lot, but we love each other more. That made me tear up a bit... it's definitely time for bed.

So much for an A.

Things I'll Never Say

Avril Lavigne